READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
