ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
