Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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