Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
