Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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