i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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