omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
