butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
honey bunches of taint.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
