super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
