next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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