Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
