When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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