she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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