i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize