drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
