I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
