Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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