Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2