And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
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Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
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One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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