mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*