Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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