in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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