You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
