I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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