I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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