I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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