Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
