Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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