Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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