I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize