i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just had sex on a roof
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