i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
