i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
