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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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