look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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