He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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