is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
