he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
