Do you still have your period?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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