It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
