I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
