White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
