My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
