After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
