So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
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I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
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If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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