Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
