You can't special order awesome
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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