wanna go halves on a baby?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
