6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I love you.
Bad choice
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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