Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize