i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
