Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Green mimosas i think yes
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
