So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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