I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
