I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
