Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.