Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
