Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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